no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
