would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
