I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
