I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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