he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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