Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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