you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
