i jhust puked up my retainher.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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