I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize