I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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