It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
