problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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