I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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