I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
