yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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