pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize