It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
