Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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