Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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