Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
