Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
