everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
