You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
