I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I FOUND THE LEGS
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
