Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize