Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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