hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
