Whod you bang
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
