was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
