i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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