im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
