I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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