Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
