Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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