8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
