why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
