...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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