i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
