He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
