Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Randomize