i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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