operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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