Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
