he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
