Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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