i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
