three words: i give head
three words: not that well
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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