Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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