You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Randomize
