Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
