My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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