I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
