Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
