jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
