I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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