The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
