Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize