We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Can you bring me the toilet please
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
