No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
