hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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