I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You've changed since you got that strap on
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
