She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
And then he peed in my hair
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