god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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